Monday, December 14, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

And the crazywizard is SOOO Back!

From being domesticated to learning a universal truth(i.e Am ALWAYS right), the crazywizard has been through a cruel life journey, but now he's back. Bring out the vodka, coffee, kush and all those kewl honies who know that my word is law. Am back gain, making and breaking my own rules. If you on my team, act like you know kabla ukalie bench!!
Round hii ni kuspoil like neva before. U know me, always pushing it to the edge. No hard feelings ya'll, just the way I am!!

Anatha Krazie Head from Chep!

video

mobile version

Friday, September 18, 2009

Yeye pia ni member


Anatha Ill mchongwano

Ati mkono ni ngumu mpaka ukishika mouse computer inasema "New Hardware found. Please Install!"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Men's Rules 1/7

We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. Ok - we now hear the guys' side. These are our rules! Please note: these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.



1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!



1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.



1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.



1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.



1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Crying is blackmail.



1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!



1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.



1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?



1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.



1. Check your oil! Please.



1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.



1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.



1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.



1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.



1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.



1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.



1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.



1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



1. I'm in shape. - ROUND is a shape.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Except me

You can have anything in the world(heck, even the whole universe) except me!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Illest Mchongwano

Naskia kwenu mumeendelea hadi mko na teabags za uji
Mamako ni mnono wakati wa election violence kijiji mzima ilijificha nyuma yake
Wewe uko na skin ingine tight mpaka ukiwink mguu moja inainuka
Nyanyako ni mzee, nilimwambia ACT YOUR AGE akakufa
manzi yako ana ulimi ingine rough mpaka akiongea yeye huskip kama CD
sheila we ni m ugly mathako alikudrop tao akashikwa na kanjo for littering
unajipaka make up mob ukilia unaacha erosion
una kichwa ndogo mpaka masikio zako ni slide

KCSE 2015

KENYA NATIONAL EXAMINATIONS COUNCIL KNEC
KENYA CERTIFICATE OF SECONDARY EDUCATION (KCSE)
DECEMBER 2015
HISTORY AND GOVERNMENT (HISTO)
PAPER ONE (1)
START: 2.00 P.M TO 5.00 PM

INTRUCTIONS

ANSWER ALL QUESTIONS
Take the first 15min to read through the instructions and the question booklet.
Do not write on this question paper
Answer within the time limit, 3 hrs
Any form of cheating will lead to disqualification
Incase of anything raise your hand and ask the invigilator
Note that not all questions may contain multiple choice answers. Questions with multiple answers are those the examiner found challenging.
Discussion is allowed after the paper

1. Which year was the post election violence?
a) 2002 b)2008 c) 1942 d) 2007

2. Who financed the post election violence?

3. Who was the chief mediator?
a) Graca Marcel b) Chinua Achebe c) Kofi Anan d) Thambo Mbeki

4.i) In the USA there was a president who had a dream
a) What was his name?
b) What was his dream?
c) Which year was the dream?
d) Did the dream come true?
e) if so in which year?

5. Expound on the historic handshake and circumstances leading to it.

6. Who was the chief mediator and what was he mediating?

7. What is the name of the smart man who embarrassed the Presidential security detail? Which year was it and what did the man want to tell the President?

8. Who is an IDP? ( 2 Marks)

9. Write an essay about Barrack Obama. Include details like when and where he was born, his parents names, where he grew up, his wife and children’s names and when they were each born, how many wives his father had and which year he married each of them, his fathers favorite food. Also write about his academic, economic, social, spiritual and emotional background

10. Kofi Anan is one of the greatest black men alive. He has achieved so much in his life time; please give his academic background, year and place of birth, family status and intellectual achievements. State the years respectively and discuss his career path and rise to stardom

11. Write about the Krigler Report, its findings and recommendations. (20 Marks)

12. Write vividly about the Waki Report, its findings and recommendations. (20 Marks)

13. Discuss the maize scandal. Hint. Give details of the year, who the suspects were and the true victims, how much maize they stole, where they took the maize and how many Kenyans died. (20Marks)

14. Who were Ababu Nabwamba and Dr. Bonny Khalwale? Write everything you know about them (20 Marks).

15. Write vividly about the Artur brothers and their mission in Kenya . Also give all their nicknames. (20 Marks)

16. List the Pentagon members

17. Is is true that MP’s ate flour and washed it down their throats with oil?

18. Write about the oil saga

19a).how many districts are in kenya (please approximate to the nearest 10).

b)Which one has chemolingot as its headquarters?

c)Mr mutua travels from kijabe to malaba via kaimosi. describe, the political, economic and administrative changes he encounters along the way (20 marks)

20)expound on the following terminologies(20 Marks)
a)Mavi ya Kuku
b)Nyefnyef
c)Mkate Nusu

Sunday, July 5, 2009

What is the difference between men and women?

  1. A successful man is who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  2. Men wake up as good looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
  3. A man will pay $2 for an item he wants, women will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t want.
  4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting she wont change and she does.
  5. There are times a man doesn’t understand woman- before and after marriage.
  6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man doesn’t until he gets a wife.
  7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
  8. Any married man should forget his mistakes;…

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Women...

This article is imported directly from the Daily Nation (Wednesday May 6, 2009) with no alterations whatsoever. It's from a 'distressed' woman seeking 'advice'...

I've been in a relationship for two years with a man two years my junior. Despite being hardworking, he has not been luck in finding a job. I have a job that meets most of my needs. While gae has never been an issue for me, his siblings feel am too old for him and have never accepted me as a potential wife for their brother. On the other hand, I have friends who judge his financial status and feel I dont have a future with a financially unstable man. We've not had it easy with people around us trying to separate and discourage us, but we have endured it all. He has met my family and they love him and even invite him over for family events occassionally.
We love each other and would like to settle down. Although he has not officially asked me to marry him, he has mentioned severely that his intetions are to do so once he is financially stable. The problem is that I will be 31 by the end of this year and feel that time is not on my side. For two years, his financial status has been almost zero. As much as I want to be with him, I can't help but wonder if I have a bright future with a man rent I sometimes have to pay because he has no money to do so.
Could my friends be right that am wasting my time with a man who has nothing to offer. What if his financial situation does not change and I have to bear the entire financial burden when we finally settle down or, worse, I lose my job? Who will cater for us if he is not lucky by then? Am I making a grand mistake by waiting to marry this man?



I won't even comment on this...
Joan K.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Sucks to be always right

An anomaly is something that does not confirm to established and proven theories of science. People through and through are basically all the same until you meet one who seems like an anomaly. Seriously, they seem to defy every theory you might have and just as you begin to think that after all you have found you much sort after anomaly, they just have to go and prove you right(that there are no anomalies. They are all the same, one way or another.)

Disclaimer:I don't claim to be different. As a matter of fact, i more or less am the pig all men are made out to be.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

ALKOHOL

It's said that Alcohol is man's worst enemy. But Jesus said 'Love thy Enemy'

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Kichizi Quotes

If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.

by: Mo Udall
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

by: Ogden Nash
God is really only another artist, he made the elephant, giraffe and cat. He has no real style but keeps trying new ideas.

by: Pablo Picasso
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

by: Mark Twain
The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.

by: Paul Johnson
Never have children, only grandchildren.

by: Gore Vidal
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

by: Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

by: Mark Twain
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.

by: Pablo Picasso
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.

by: Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.

by: Mark Twain
Everything you can imagine is real.

by: Pablo Picasso

Beer vs Vagina

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you
find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may
get mad, make a scene,kick you out, etc.
If you get home reeking of vagina
your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave
you. There's definitely a point to be had here,
depending on your point of view and personal
circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive
home.
Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to
drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place,
your reputation may suffer.
If you eat any p***y in public, you become a
legend.
One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you
may get arrested.
If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying
saucers.
Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen
god.
One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring.
Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never
gets pissed off
One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one
to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but
it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner, ale, lager, etc
One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an
hour after you've drank it
One point to BEER


FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8


That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner
is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel
angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that
Beer would
experience none of those feelings, let alone express
them,

an extra point for BEER!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

wise saying

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

East African Ride

Now, no pun intended but I do know that am absolutely krazy. That's why my project this year is to ride as furthest as I can on Easter. The plan is to go to Uganda, cycle to Tanzania then all the way back to Kenya. Na juu ya hiyo storo, am offering the bargain of a life time. 20bob perKm. Let see how far you pips can make me go!