1. You ask Makmende who he is and he tells you who you are!
2. Makmende can slam a revolving door!
3. Makmende is the guy who rubs his book when the teacher rubs the black
4. Makmende doesn't use power tab in his mosquito net he just presses tab
on his computer.
5. Makmende once frequented K-street, he is now saved.
6. Obama(always a Kenyan all the time) is afraid he might not stand the
chance for a second term, unless Makmende allows him.
7. The reason Google is still in China is because of Makmende.
8. Don't dream about Makmende, he will hear you.
9. Makmende is the reason why there was traffic jam in Makueni.
10. South Africa are already issuing a security threat posed by Makmende
during world cup.
11. It is said the reason Chelsea was beaten in Champions league is
because Makmende was spotted in the pitch.
12. Makmende went around the world in one day.
13. Tom and Mary dropped out of school because of bullying by Makmende.
14. Makmende showed up at Pizza Inn and took all the pizza.
15. Moses broke the ten commandments due to fear when he saw Makmende.
16. I hear Makmende uprooted the railway on his own - Museveni should be
17. Makmende does not use M-pesa, Zap or Yu cash, he runs the system.
18. Makmende beat the hell out of GSU as they tried to deport him.
19. Makmende has revolutionized the car industry with the new Toyota Mark
20. The dude can hang clothes on his Safaricom line.
21. After eating garlic Makmende doesn’t smell like garlic but garlic
smells like Makmende.
22. The only reason you’re conscious right now is because Makmende
doesn’t want to carry you.
23. Makmende can look at your photo and know you are lying.
24. Nobody knows what would happen if Chuck Norris and Makmende met, but
one thing is for sure: Makmende would still be standing.
25. Always look before you leap. Unless Makmende is chasing you. Then you
had better just jump.
26. Makmende refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a
gun and a bucket.
27. Makmende found Bin Laden. Let him go, and found him again for his own
28. Makmende doesn’t drink honey. He chews bees.
29. Makmende doesn’t have nightmares. Nightmares have Makmende.
30. Makmende and Superman once had a fight. They bet that whoever lost
would wear his underwear outside his pants.
31. If Makmende was Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called
32. Makmende doesn’t need a translator. Pain sounds the same in every
33. The Boogieman checks his closet for Makmende.
34. The Dinosaurs laughed at Makmende…
35. Makmende has been to Mars. Why do you think there’s no life on Mars?
36. Makmende does not date women...he doesn't need to.....
37. The truth hurts. Not as much as Makmende.
38. Nyongesa the sane and the immediate chairman of ladies tried to be
like Makmende once - he was surprised by the turn of events - ask him......!