Rambles thru my head...

When i was born i was so surprised, i didn't talk for a year and a half

I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Rambles thru my head...

Those people who live within their means have obviously no imagination.!

Losing

If losing has taught me anything, it's how to do it gracefully...

'i Don't Know (but I Been Told)'

- music makes you lose control
- the streets in heaven are lined with gold
- you'll never die and you'll never grow old
- in the heat of the sun a man died of cold
- there's something waiting for us, down that dirty road
- you never slow down, you never grow old
- next to you my life's been cold
- I'm about twenty-four earth years old
- about a man named Leopold
- he's baking cakes inside our souls
- it's hard to run with the weight of gold
- if you keep on dancing you won't grow old
- Northern girls are mighty cold
- you resurrect the rock n' roll (by taking back the radio)
- it's so, you know, it's good as gold
- that good things come with time - let's go!
- there's a place where dreams are bought and sold
- big legged woman ain't got no soul
- boss' pockets are lined with gold
- if the horse won't pull you gotta carry the load
- every sinner's gonna pay a toll
- that city livin' is awfully cold
- the streets of hell are paved with gold
- you live this way you won't grow old

Hilarious Letters

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic



Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two
friends?

Sincerely, Anonymous



Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada



Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders



Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...

Sincerely, Google



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!

Sincerely, 1985



Dear Justin Bieber,

Ariel would really love her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton



Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack



Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle



Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves
in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare



Dear Soccer Fans,

B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas



Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God



Dear Rubik's Cube,

Done!

Sincerely, Colorblind



Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods



Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls



Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream...
What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio



Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and
totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan



Dear Romeo,

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

Sincerely, Juliet



Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed



Dear Sex Educators,

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary



Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast



Dear Edward,

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

Sincerely, a stake





Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Nataka Nyonyo

“.............. In a bus going to Thika a lady with her son sits next to a young man.
She starts to breastfeed the kid but he refuses so she tells him, 'Ebu nyonya or I’ll give it to this young man here '.
After some time still the kid refuses to suckle and she tells him again suckle or I'll give the young man .
This happens about 4 times n the young man gets frustrated n tells the lady 'Will you make up your mind already coz i was supposed to alight 30mins ago”.

Ututho

Ututho: the habit of refusing to buy people beer.

example: 'Kamau ukiendelea na hiyo ututho wako hauwezi pata take away.'