Sunday, April 5, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Kichizi Quotes
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
by: Mo Udall
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
by: Ogden Nash
God is really only another artist, he made the elephant, giraffe and cat. He has no real style but keeps trying new ideas.
by: Pablo Picasso
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
by: Mark Twain
The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.
by: Paul Johnson
Never have children, only grandchildren.
by: Gore Vidal
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
by: Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
by: Mark Twain
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
by: Pablo Picasso
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
by: Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.
by: Mark Twain
Everything you can imagine is real.
by: Pablo Picasso
by: Mo Udall
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
by: Ogden Nash
God is really only another artist, he made the elephant, giraffe and cat. He has no real style but keeps trying new ideas.
by: Pablo Picasso
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
by: Mark Twain
The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless.
by: Paul Johnson
Never have children, only grandchildren.
by: Gore Vidal
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
by: Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
by: Mark Twain
I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.
by: Pablo Picasso
Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
by: Mark Twain
By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity -- another man's I mean.
by: Mark Twain
Everything you can imagine is real.
by: Pablo Picasso
Beer vs Vagina
1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you
find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may
get mad, make a scene,kick you out, etc.
If you get home reeking of vagina
your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave
you. There's definitely a point to be had here,
depending on your point of view and personal
circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive
home.
Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to
drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place,
your reputation may suffer.
If you eat any p***y in public, you become a
legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you
may get arrested.
If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying
saucers.
Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen
god.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring.
Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never
gets pissed off
One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one
to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but
it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner, ale, lager, etc
One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an
hour after you've drank it
One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner
is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel
angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that
Beer would
experience none of those feelings, let alone express
them,
an extra point for BEER!
One point to BEER
2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4.If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you
find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may
get mad, make a scene,kick you out, etc.
If you get home reeking of vagina
your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave
you. There's definitely a point to be had here,
depending on your point of view and personal
circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive
home.
Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to
drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place,
your reputation may suffer.
If you eat any p***y in public, you become a
legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you
may get arrested.
If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying
saucers.
Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen
god.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring.
Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never
gets pissed off
One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one
to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but
it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark,
pilsner, ale, lager, etc
One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an
hour after you've drank it
One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner
is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel
angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that
Beer would
experience none of those feelings, let alone express
them,
an extra point for BEER!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
East African Ride
Now, no pun intended but I do know that am absolutely krazy. That's why my project this year is to ride as furthest as I can on Easter. The plan is to go to Uganda, cycle to Tanzania then all the way back to Kenya. Na juu ya hiyo storo, am offering the bargain of a life time. 20bob perKm. Let see how far you pips can make me go!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
God Vs The Scientist
God was sitting in heaven one day when a scientist said to Him, “God, we don’t need you anymore. Science has finally figured out a way to create life out of nothing - in other words, we can now do what you did in the beginning.”
“Oh, is that so? Explain…” replies God. “Well,” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”
“Well, that’s very interesting… show Me.”
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man. “No, no, no…” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”
“Oh, is that so? Explain…” replies God. “Well,” says the scientist, “we can take dirt and form it into the likeness of you and breathe life into it, thus creating man.”
“Well, that’s very interesting… show Me.”
So the scientist bends down to the earth and starts to mold the soil into the shape of a man. “No, no, no…” interrupts God, “Get your own dirt.”
Manhood
Do what thy manhood bids thee do, from none but self expect applause; He noblest lives and noblest dies who makes and keeps his self-made laws.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)