Why I no longer Ride my Bike

How Dinosaurs died:-)

Wise Old Japanese Saying

For want of a nail, the horseshoe was lost
For want of a horseshoe, the steed was lost
For want of a steed, the message was not delivered
For want of an undelivered message, the war was lost.!

Are the Chinese taking over??

Very interesting article about Chinese(read Huawei) forays into the Telcoms industry Read This.!

For those who think they know better...

"Your deductive powers are a gift from God or chance or a stray shot of sperm or whatever or whoever the hell wrote your life script...
They are a gift, not earned.

You do not know what I know because you have not earned those powers. You are callous with those powers, so you flaunt them and throw them around like a brat with a trust fund.

You haven't had to climb up all the greasy little wrungs, you haven't had to buy your way to the fundraisers, you haven't done the time in that first marriage to the girl with the right father.

You think that you can leap over it all in a single bound. You haven't had to bribe or charm or threaten your way to a seat at that table.

You don't know how to assess your competition because you haven't competed. Don't make me your competition.!"

Robert DeNiro, Limitless, 2011

karma(going around, coming around)

It's always funny when it happens to someone else, but fucking hilarious when it happens to you.!

Social Media Explained

Stuff That Our Kids Will Never Know About Or Use

Audio-Visual Entertainment
Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something. (What?)
Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo. (hehehehehe)
The number of TV channels being a single digit. I remember it being a massive event when Britain got its fourth channel.
Standard-definition, CRT TVs filling up half your living room. (Kwanza the Rich Families with the 30inch Tvs)
Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control. (Shit! I have like three remotes)
High-speed dubbing. (hehehehehe Kwanza when the owner of the tape wants it back ASAP)
Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD. (Boogie on Down)
MiniDisc. (What the hell where these for anyway)
Laserdisc: the LP of DVD.
Scanning the radio dial and hearing static between stations. (Well bado we still have these)
Shortwave radio. (BBC anyone?)
3-D movies meaning red-and-green glasses. (Bado haijafika huku vizuri)
Watching TV when the networks say you should. Tivo and Sky+ are slowing killing this one. (HI bado haija fika huku)
That there was a time before ‘reality TV.’ (Oh yes The Kardashians)

Computers
Wires. OK, so they’re not gone yet, but it won’t be long. (hmmmmmmmm)
The scream of a modem connecting. (ding, ding zoooorg, tru, tru, ding!)
The buzz of a dot-matrix printer. (Banks still use these printer)
5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage. (what imaging installing Windows 95)
DOS. (One of the hardest programmes to do)
Screens being just green (or orange) on black. (hehehehe)
Daisy chaining your SCSI devices and making sure they’ve all got a different ID.
Counting in kilobytes. (bwahahahahaha)
Wondering if you can afford to buy a RAM upgrade. (tihihihihi)
Blowing the dust out of a NES cartridge in the hopes that it’ll load this time. (dang!)
Turning a PlayStation on its end to try and get a game to load. (yes Oh my old friend PS 1)
Joysticks. (Never used them)
Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive. (Computer ya kalekachali)
Booting your computer off of a floppy disk. (Windows 95 na 98)
Recording a song in a studio. (hehehehe at 4 oclock and usiku)

Everything Else
Taking turns picking a radio station, or selecting a tape, for everyone to listen to during a long drive. (unless umebuy gari ya japan na you haven’t oput on an after market receiver)
Remembering someone’s phone number. (yeah)
Not knowing who was calling you on the phone. (hehehehehehehe)
Actually going down to rent a movie on Tape.
Toys actually being suitable for the under-3s.
LEGO just being square blocks of various sizes, with the odd wheel, window or door. (I played with these)
Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater. (That never happens in Kenya)
Neat handwriting. (Oh Snap)
“Don’t know what a slide rule is for …”
Finding books in a card catalog at the library.
Swimming pools with diving boards.
Sliding the paper outer wrapper off a Kit-Kat, placing it on the palm of your hand and clapping to make it bang loudly. Then sliding your finger down the silver foil to break off the first finger. ( oh happy days)
Having to manually unlock a car door. (even starting it)
Writing a check. (I hate these things)
Roller skates, as opposed to blades.
Cash. (I love these but mpesa is stealing it)
Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.
Spending your entire allowance at the arcade in the mall.
A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.
When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same. (there is a difference?)

Another Chinese First.!

Rambles thru my head...

When i was born i was so surprised, i didn't talk for a year and a half

I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Rambles thru my head...

Those people who live within their means have obviously no imagination.!

Losing

If losing has taught me anything, it's how to do it gracefully...

'i Don't Know (but I Been Told)'

- music makes you lose control
- the streets in heaven are lined with gold
- you'll never die and you'll never grow old
- in the heat of the sun a man died of cold
- there's something waiting for us, down that dirty road
- you never slow down, you never grow old
- next to you my life's been cold
- I'm about twenty-four earth years old
- about a man named Leopold
- he's baking cakes inside our souls
- it's hard to run with the weight of gold
- if you keep on dancing you won't grow old
- Northern girls are mighty cold
- you resurrect the rock n' roll (by taking back the radio)
- it's so, you know, it's good as gold
- that good things come with time - let's go!
- there's a place where dreams are bought and sold
- big legged woman ain't got no soul
- boss' pockets are lined with gold
- if the horse won't pull you gotta carry the load
- every sinner's gonna pay a toll
- that city livin' is awfully cold
- the streets of hell are paved with gold
- you live this way you won't grow old

Hilarious Letters

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely, Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping
through them, they can never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely, Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic



Dear J.K. Rowling,

Your books are entirely unrealistic. I mean, a ginger kid with two
friends?

Sincerely, Anonymous



Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely, Canada



Dear Boyfriend,

I can make your girlfriend scream louder than you can.

Sincerely, Spiders



Dear Voldemort,

So they screwed up your nose too?

Sincerely, Michael Jackson



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just
saying...

Sincerely, Google



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely, BP



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF
happened?!

Sincerely, 1985



Dear Justin Bieber,

Ariel would really love her voice back.

Sincerely, King Triton



Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that raft for the both of us.

Sincerely, Jack



Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely, That Little Triangle



Dear Taylor Swift,

If it is of any interest to you, Romeo and Juliet both kill themselves
in the end.

Sincerely, Shakespeare



Dear Soccer Fans,

B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z
Z Z Z

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!

Sincerely, Vuvuzelas



Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely, God



Dear Rubik's Cube,

Done!

Sincerely, Colorblind



Dear Santa,

Please tell me how you managed to stop at three Ho's.

Sincerely, Tiger Woods



Dear Boys Wearing Skinny Jeans,

I. Can't. Breathe.

Sincerely, Your Balls



Dear Martin Luther King Jr.,

I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream...
What now?

Sincerely, Leonardo DiCaprio



Dear Sleeping Beauty,

I had to join the army, dress up like a man, defeat the hun army and
totally save China for my man.

All you had to do was wake up.

Sincerely, Mulan



Dear Romeo,

My death isn't the only thing I've been faking...

Sincerely, Juliet



Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely, Unimpressed



Dear Sex Educators,

Abstinence is only 99.99% effective.

Sincerely, The Virgin Mary



Dear Toaster,

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?

Sincerely, Toast



Dear Edward,

I really hope that one day, I can find my way into your heart.

Sincerely, a stake





Dear Prince Charming,

You've got some explaining to do!

Sincerely, Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, and Sleeping Beauty

Nataka Nyonyo

“.............. In a bus going to Thika a lady with her son sits next to a young man.
She starts to breastfeed the kid but he refuses so she tells him, 'Ebu nyonya or I’ll give it to this young man here '.
After some time still the kid refuses to suckle and she tells him again suckle or I'll give the young man .
This happens about 4 times n the young man gets frustrated n tells the lady 'Will you make up your mind already coz i was supposed to alight 30mins ago”.

Ututho

Ututho: the habit of refusing to buy people beer.

example: 'Kamau ukiendelea na hiyo ututho wako hauwezi pata take away.'

Bachelor(s)

A bachelor is a silly stupid man who lives like a king and dies like a dog...(yeah, that's me.!)